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The Apology That Wasn’t Necessary

My husband apologized to me for losing his job. At first I wasn’t sure that he was serious. I mean, why was he apologizing for something that wasn’t his fault? But he was serious. He apologized because for the first time since he was 14 years old, he did not have a job. He felt that it was his fault. I assured him that it wasn’t. His job was simply eliminated. His small company was bought out by a much larger one and they slowly began to let people go. Actually, we were surprised that he survived more than a year after they were bought before being let go. Others were not so lucky. But because we knew that eventually it would be his turn, we were prepared as much as we could be for it to happen. So when it did, we just moved forward.

We went over our monthly expenses and looked for ways to cut back. I was still employed, so we still had my income. Thankfully the cooler weather is here, so turning the AC up a few degrees, and eventually off, really hasn’t been hard. We also use coupons, so shopping smart has been something we have done for a long time, so we were fine there. The biggest savings was on not eating out. We usually eat dinner out on Fridays. It is something we have done for years. Unfortunately, we would also eat out several times on the weekends. That was something that we stopped doing and started saving.

Once he stopped working, he turned his job into finding a new one. He contacted people he knew within his industry, and knew that they too were facing budget cuts, but it didn’t hurt to try. He actually passed along a few jobs that he wasn’t qualified for, but knew someone else that was. He also started looking for job fairs and applying for jobs online. One of our friends even brought jobs that he knew about to my husband. One of those turned out to be one my husband was called to interview for. He wanted to know if our friend put in a good word for him, but it turns out, he works in an entirely different section, and doesn’t know anyone where my husband would work.

Things about the job search that make you shake your head and go hmmm….

  1. Trying to get through the unemployment application process is absolutely crazy. “Yes, I understand that you need someone to verify my employment / unemployment, but since I was the person for my company that did that in the past, you need to contact this office.” And of course, they don’t contact the correct location, then call you back to tell you they can’t verify with your employer. When they send you a time to be on a three way phone call with your former employer, who doesn’t show up for the call, it is somehow your fault. It has been 5 weeks, since my husband’s last day and we have not received one penny from unemployment.
  2. Signing up for a Retired military, Disabled Veteran class to help you in your job search only to be told that you don’t meet the requirements. Hmmm, let’s see, Retired military-check, Disabled veteran-check, Veteran-check. Submitted documents to prove this-check. So what is the requirement that isn’t met? No response other than you don’t meet the requirements.
  3. Apply for one job, only to be contacted about a completely different job that you are not qualified for, and the recruiter doesn’t understand why you aren’t interested in that job. Hmmm, not qualified might be the first clue.
  4. Interview for a job, then get called back several times for the employer to pick your brain, and then find out they hired someone else. Hmmm, okay, that will only happen once.
  5. Eventually, you will hear something good. Which is what happened, so now you wait for the official offer letter to arrive. Until then, you continue to search on the off chance that unemployment will actually approve something before you start back to work.

The good news is that my husband was offered a job and will be back at work soon. It will be in a different industry, but hopefully a more stable job field. He feels much better, but as I told him when this all started, there is nothing to apologize for. It happens and we move on to something better.

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