It’s Hard To Believe It’s Been 25 Years
I Love You More Everyday~~Thank You For The Memories We Make Together!!!
Next month, my husband and I will be celebrating our 25th Anniversary. It really is hard to believe that we have been married for that long. Looking through the pictures that my husband has been scanning lately, we looked so young back then. When we first planned to marry, the Army decided that my husband would be deployed when we wanted to get married, so we went to the Justice of the Peace and were married at the courthouse. It was a Friday and on Monday, when my husband went to work, he learned the deployment was canceled, so we were married again three months later in the church, but we celebrate the August date.
We didn’t have a honeymoon. We couldn’t afford it back then and we talked about someday going somewhere to celebrate. Before long, years passed and while we have gone on vacations, we still never had what would be considered a honeymoon. When we moved to the east coast, we talked about going to Vermont in the fall for our 25th, but when my husband started his new job last year, he had to start earning vacation time all over. We didn’t want to take a whole week to go somewhere so I was tasked with trying to find somewhere close by that we could go to for a long weekend. Many people have talked about going to the Poconos, but they also say that it was years ago and they weren’t sure if the places they visited were still nice. One day, while visiting one of the blogs that I read, Mistress Maddie was discussing her recent Memorial Day getaway with a side stop to Jim Thorpe, Pennsylvania. She included several photos and the one from the veranda of the Harry Packer Mansion with a view of the mountain side covered in trees totally caught my interest. I kept looking at the picture and thinking that the view must be incredible in the fall.
I began to research the town and learned that they have a fall festival every weekend starting in September and all through October. They also have fall foliage train rides which is something that we also want to do. I sent some links to my husband to get his input and researched places to stay. While the mansion is booked up, we were able to find a little bed and breakfast in town that had an opening for when we could take leave. We are booked and planning our stay. I have started my packing list…yes, I know it’s early, but can you tell that I’m excited?
So thank you Mistress Maddie for being such a wonderful tour guide in your descriptions of your travels. You inspired us with a place to visit. While our trip won’t be as wild as yours are 😉 we are thankful that you helped us decide where we wanted to go and we will have a cock-a-tail in your honor as we relax and take in the view.
When we moved to the East coast several years ago, my husband and I talked about the fact that we were now closer to Vermont and possibly going to visit in the fall to see the leaves changing colors. I have always wanted to go and this was the chance to plan a trip. Our goal was to go there for our 25th Anniversary, which is this summer.
When my husband’s job came to an end last summer, it was a couple of months before he started working again. As a result, he had to start earning vacation time at his new job all over again. He also has to put in for vacation time six months in advance, and he is the last to get consideration due to seniority, so it is unlikely he will get the time we want for a vacation. I am okay with that and I told him that we will take an IOU on the Vermont trip. My husband on the other hand is a little upset that we are changing our plans because of his job. This isn’t the first time that we have had to change plans because of a job change. Usually it was due to me changing jobs or switching over from one company to another.
I think it matters more now because it was the trip we planned for our 25th, but I know that we will get there someday. I just don’t know when, so he will be getting an IOU with a date to be determined later. And as for our 25th Anniversary, anyway and anywhere we celebrate will be special because we are still together…and that is the most important thing of all!
Have you ever had one of those moments when you just had to laugh? My husband and I had one of those moments this weekend. We both wear glasses. I’ve worn glasses since I was 10 years old, had bifocals at 29 and was told by my optometrist two years ago that I was starting to develop glaucoma. My husband did not need glasses until several years ago and then it was only for reading. That changed last year when he was told he should wear them all the time. He has resisted that and I often remind him that he is supposed to have his glasses on. He usually replies the optometrist told him he should wear them all the time, not that he had to.
Both of us have started having problems with colors such as trying to figure out if dress pants, both his and mine, are black or dark navy or taupe or olive. My husband has always had problems distinguishing colors. After his time in the military, where he wore a uniform every day in varying shades of green and khaki, he left it to me when it came to selecting his suits, dress shirts and ties. He will give me his opinion, but he has a problem determining if some of the colors actually go together. He doesn’t see the subtle differences in some of them. He usually pulls out several shirts and tells me which pants he wants to wear and I select the one that goes with it. He will occasionally choose a tie and if it doesn’t go, I will quietly switch it out and he goes on about his day.
Lately, it has gotten harder for even me to distinguish between the colors. I take the pants to the bathroom and look at them under the light, which is a brighter LED, and I hope I have the black plants instead of the blue. I hand them off to him to select the shirt and tie. But it has gotten harder and we have even taken to labeling the item’s tag with the color. Needless to say I have gotten concerned that my eyesight may be getting worse. My husband began searching the internet and found an article about how the type of light you have in your closet can actually make your clothes look different colors. He explained, in great detail mind you, that the type of bulb (ours had a yellow hue) could actually cause the problem with telling the difference between colors. He said we should change the bulb and if that didn’t work, we might have to change out the globe because it could also make it hard to distinguish colors.
So this weekend we changed out the lightbulb in the closet. And I could tell the difference between black and navy blue pants. Success! And then we laughed because it was such a simple fix and we couldn’t help but think how long we had struggled. That had us wondering if we ever went off to work with mismatched colors. If we did, I’m sure the lighting would have made it look fine. Hmmm, okay, that’s what I hoped happened. If not, it will be something to laugh over.
My husband admits that he is feeling lost without his wedding ring. It is currently at the jeweler being resized due to arthritis and an accident at work where his ring caught on a latch under his desk and pulled his finger, which caused some swelling. It took him 30 minutes using a variety of methods to get his ring off, which probably caused it to swell even more, so for the first time in close to 25 years, he is not wearing his wedding ring. And he says he feels lost without it. It is sweet of him to say so, but it happens. It doesn’t change our commitment to one another because he isn’t able to wear his ring.
But I’m starting to think that he must feel that I don’t care, or that my ring doesn’t have the same meaning to me because the first thing I do when I get home at the end of the day is take off all of my jewelry. My fingers usually swell during the night and in the morning, it is hard to get them off, so I don’t wear them when I sleep anymore. I put them on after my shower and throughout the day, I feel them getting loose, so when I get home, off they come so I don’t risk losing them. My husband has never said anything about this, but he does comment if he notices on the weekend that I haven’t put them on. He’ll say, “You aren’t wearing your rings,” and I’ll look at my hand and go “Nope, I forgot to put them on.” It doesn’t mean I’m not married or don’t want people to know I’m married. I’m at the age that I don’t care what other people think. I’m also of the age where reality is that you can’t really wear fancy rings out in public without fear that someone will try to rob you of them. It has happened and I don’t want to look like a good target.
Throughout or marriage, my engagement ring has been upgraded several times. The ring that he gave me when we got engaged is in the safe. It still takes my breath away when I see it, but I was younger and smaller back then, so it doesn’t really fit any more. I could wear it on my little finger, but a ring there has never really felt right. The next ring was for our 10th anniversary. It was bigger and similar in style to the original. For our 20th anniversary, a friend of ours who was a jeweler made a ring from a drawing I had done on a piece of paper. It is one of a kind and definitely noticeable, but for the past year, I haven’t felt safe wearing it out, so I have started wearing only my wedding band. My husband has asked if I don’t like my engagement ring and I find myself explaining that the comments people make when I am out have started to make me feel uncomfortable, so I just leave it at home.
Now that our 25th anniversary is coming up, my husband asked me if I want to get a new ring. I asked him if he wanted to get new wedding bands and he said, “Of course not. I’m not looking for a replacement ring.” And I’m not either. I just don’t need anything fancy. He still wants to get me a new ring if I don’t want to wear my engagement ring. I told him I might get a really thin band in blue sapphire and wear it with my wedding band. He then wanted to know if I didn’t like diamonds anymore. I like diamonds just fine. But I don’t need a bunch of them to feel married.
The jeweler offered to try to have his ring resized in one day, which was probably due to the fact that my husband kept saying the ring has never been off his finger. But my husband told him no, not to hurry. Monday would be fine. The jeweler now has two days to finish it.