Emission Testing-Quick and Easy, Not Really
The state of Maryland requires any vehicle over 3 years old to have the emissions tested to make sure that the vehicle is not creating pollution and ruining the ozone layer. Vehicles are tested every two years and this year it is the Jeep’s turn. This usually means that we have to make plans to leave work early (usually me because I work closer) or go on a Saturday morning to the nearest location to get the test done. I was looking forward to this because we recently found a new pizza place near there that has a thin crust pizza that is absolutely delicious, so I figured we could get the test done and then get lunch. There is also an automatic car wash across the street, so we could cross three things off our list. Two for my husband, get the emission test and wash the Jeep. And one for me, eat yummy pizza.
As my husband was reading the material and looking for the deadline, he saw that Maryland has put emission kiosks around the state and one was at the MVA office. And it was 3 miles closer than the real emission testing station was. He was excited to see that it cost one dollar less, $10 instead of $11 and it was available 24 hours a day. We could go anytime. Hooray!!! We’d save a dollar and I wouldn’t get pizza. I heard about this kiosk every day, for more than a week, until my husband decided that Saturday would be the day.
So on Saturday we drove to the MVA, which was closed, but the kiosk was open. As we pulled up to kiosk I pointed out that my husband had driven past the sign with the instructions. He promptly informed me that he had watched a video online, so he didn’t need the sign. And besides, the instructions on the screen would walk him through things step by step. Ummm, okay.
Step 1: Scan your emission notice. Not readable. Scan again.
Step 2: Insert credit card to pay $10. Done, but the card couldn’t be read so remove card and try again.
Step 3: Turn off car and put car in park. (I think it should be put car in park and then turn car off. Keeping quiet).
Step 4: Open the door to the right and remove the emission device.
Step 5: Plug the device into the slot below your dashboard. A picture shows where to stick the plug. This takes several attempts, but eventually the plug fits in.
Step 6: Start your car.
Step 7: Wait for your car’s emission information to be downloaded. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
Step 8: Turn off the car.
Step 9: Remove the emission device.
Step 10: Test not completed. The device could not read your car’s emission information. Your payment will be refunded.
Additional steps added:
Step 11: Husband starts cursing about the “piece of s@#t thing not working” and what a “d$%n waste of time this is.”
Step 12: Wife expected this would happen, but kept it to herself so husband wouldn’t be more upset.
Step 13: Drive back home because the real emission testing place was now closed…but next time, I’ll get my yummy pizza.