Monthly Archives: April 2016
One weekend, while running errands, we ended up near a mall. My husband asked if I minded stopping so he could run into the department store and see if they had the dress shoes that he likes. Of course, it was fine, so as we were walking inside, he casually says that while he is trying on shoes, maybe I could find some for me as well. Of course, I give him the side-eye because he should know by now that I can’t walk into a store and find a pair of shoes that fit.
I used to be able to do just that. I used to wear a size 8 shoe and I could go into a store, pick out any style and they would fit. That changed when I was pregnant with my son. I used to hear people say that when they were pregnant something changed. If they had curly hair, it went straight. Or straight hair went curly. I knew one woman who had pretty auburn hair and during her first pregnancy, her hair went dark brown, almost black. I have always had fine, straight hair and was hoping that I would get some curls. What did I get? I got a wide foot. Yes, that’s right. My foot went from a size 8 regular to a size 9 wide.
And that is when I learned that most stores don’t carry wide shoes for women. They may have one or two styles that aren’t really stylish at all. Instead they often look like something Frankenstein might wear. The stores have signs posted all over that say, “We have your size.” But then you have to read the tiny letters below that say, “If we don’t have your size in the store, we will be sure to have it online.” If I want to find stylish, wide shoes, I have to shop for them online and that means not being able to try them on. I just have to hope that they fit when I get them.
So on our shopping trip, my husband was able to find the shoes that he liked and purchased them. He then spotted a shoe store and wanted to go look there. We parted ways, he to find more shoes and me to be frustrated again. I found exactly two styles of shoes in a wide width. The first was a pair of Vans that were paint splattered, not exactly something I would wear. If I were still a teen…nope, still wouldn’t have worn them. The second pair was a pair of wedges with a heel at least 5 inches high. Nope, I’m a flats kind of girl.
Anyway, my husband and I meet up and he is carrying a pair of Skecher’s that is a cross between a walking and running shoe, complete with memory foam. And they are wide width. Did I mention that my husband also wears a wide shoe due to 20 plus years in combat boots? Yes, he is able to walk into any store and find men’s wide shoes, but for me, nope. So he looks at me and that fact that I have nothing in my hands and said, “No shoes?” I reply, “Nope.” He looks around the whole store at row after row of shoes and says, “Well that sucks.” Yep, it does. All the way home he grumbled about how it wasn’t fair that I can’t find shoes that fit. It was sort of cute that he was so put out by it. So when we got home, I ordered 3 new pairs of shoes online and none of them fit. I ended up sending them all back. The next time I find one that does fit, I’ll take a page out of my husband’s book and order more and store them in the closet.
One of the things that my husband wanted to do during the winter was go through the boxes that are stored in the basement and sort through them. We have boxes from our very first move twenty-five years ago and every move since. He is all about organizing and he wants to go through them, tossing out or donating things that we no longer want or use. He then wants to sort like items with like items. So all of the cards we saved in one pile. Photos go in another. Initially, the idea was to gather up all the little souvenirs that we accumulated over the years and select those that we would like to put out to look at. We wanted to get a curio cabinet, but it really is hard to find those in stores anymore. Heck, it’s hard to find actual furniture stores anymore. Over the winter, we always seemed to have something else to do and when we thought about it, we were usually doing something else, so it didn’t get done.
Last weekend, my husband set up a table and said that he was going to go through one box and began sorting things out. Since he wanted my help, I began tossing out things that I had brought from my parent’s house, most which were really worn and falling apart. Those things that didn’t really hold any emotional ties to it went into the trash. And it was there that we ran into the first issue. My husband began questioning everything I tossed out. “Why are you throwing that away?” “You don’t have to throw anything or get rid of anything. You know that right?” My reply was, “If I don’t want it anymore, or haven’t thought about it in more than two decades, it’s time to get rid of it.”
I realized that my husband really wasn’t okay with that. He seemed to think that I was just tossing things out because I wanted the task of sorting through the items to be over. But for me, some of those things no longer held the emotional attachment that they once did. And because of that, I didn’t need to keep holding on to those things. After several comments by my husband about what I was not keeping, I asked him why he couldn’t accept that I didn’t want or need those things any longer. His reply, “I just don’t want you to regret it later on.” I get that, I do, but it would be my regret, not his. And some of those things I tossed have more bad memories now than good. For me, it was something that I needed to get rid of and I didn’t realize it until I saw those things again, but it really felt good to get rid of it and move on. After all, we have a lot of memories and the good ones are what I want to focus on.
We’ve got more boxes to go…to be continued…
When we decided it was time to redo our deck, I was hoping that it would prove to be a relaxing way to end the day after work or in other words, help with the stress that comes with everyday life. The deck is finished, we have chairs and the weather has not cooperated at all in terms of being able to enjoy the deck.
Last Saturday morning, we picked up our gliders and even though the temperature was in the 50’s, I couldn’t wait and sat on the deck, bundled up with a fleece throw and watched my husband and son work in the yard. Since then, the weather has turned to either rainy or too cold. Last night, we had rain, then the wind picked up and there were strong thunderstorms. They were strong enough to set off car alarms and break off branches and flowers. During the night, the temperatures continued to drop and when I went to let our pug out this morning, there were snow pellets on the deck and chairs. The day looks beautiful now, but the temperature is in the 30’s and the wind chill is in the 20’s.
This week is supposed to be cooler and they have a chance of snow flurries in the forecast for several days. That means no relaxing on the deck just yet. It’s coming…soon…fingers crossed.